Dating Tips for HIV-Positive People
It goes without saying, that the first attempt at dating after you are diagnosed with HIV can be a very stressful, frightening experience. There are some simple tips that will help make the experience much less difficult.- Some people find it easier at first to only date other HIV-infected people. If you choose to start dating only HIV-infected people, there are HIV-positive dating services on the Internet. Also consider taking personal ads in publications targeted to HIV-positive people. Important Note! - Dating only other HIV-infected people does not mean safer sex, specifically condom use, can be ignored. Even between two HIV-positive people, safer sex and condoms are a must with each and every sexual encounter because of the risk of re-infection.
"If we're both HIV positive do we still need to use a condom?"
- Talk to other people living with HIV who have begun to date. Ask how they disclosed, what the experience was like, and if they have any advice for someone just entering the dating world.
- Be prepared for a reaction after you disclose. It is hard to predict what that reaction will be, ranging from supportive understanding to rejection and abandonment. Rest assured there will be a reaction, so be prepared for it.
- Before disclosing, assess the relationship and the person you are about to disclose to. What will you gain from disclosing? Is the relationship worth risking your confidentiality?
- HIV does not define who you are or what type of person you are. HIV does not rob you of your desires, your goals, or your personality. Healthy, rewarding relationships are possible for people living with HIV. Don’t compromise your standards or settle for anyone less than you desire for fear of that person being your only choice.
- Having HIV does not mean you are desperate. Never lose your self esteem.
- If you choose to use online services, use the same precautions anyone using such services would use. Your first meeting should be in a public place. Do not divulge too much personal information too soon. Do not let your guard down until you are sure the person you have met online can be trusted and is who he or she says she is.
- Important Note! – Before your new relationship becomes sexual, whether oral, vaginal, or anal, HIV disclosure must occur.
- Be prepared for rejection, letdown, and feeling discouraged. That being said, don’t be afraid to get your feet wet. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Staying Safe When Romance Blooms
Sources: 2. Trisdale, Sandra K.."Dating and HIV." The Well Project. 01 Jul 2003. 3. Mack, Laverne."Dating and the Positive Woman." Woman Alive. Fall/Winter 2000.
1. Johnson, Ramon."HIV and Dating." 01 Nov 2006. Gay Life. 23 Nov 2006.
